What is bondage?

Here’s how to start exploring the world of bondage safely.

If you’ve ever felt butterflies at the idea of being restrained, held down, cocooned, or contained—or have maybe wanted to do one of those things to someone else—you might consider exploring the world of bondage. 

What is bondage sex https://videotwerk.com/? There’s a lot to explore. The first letter in the BDSM acronym covers a diverse range of activities. Finding out what aspects of bondage are appealing to you and learning how to pursue them is something that anyone can do, but first, a little background about what it is and how it’s done. 

What is bondage?

Bondage is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining someone. Though it falls under the very big umbrella of BDSM, bondage can be a “vanilla” activity. Whether erotic, aesthetic, eythar.org spiritual, or what’s known as somatosensory—another way of saying it’s done because of the physical sensations it elicits—bondage, like many other activities encompassed by BDSM, is what you make of it. 

What is a bondage kink? It can manifest in a few different ways—but basically, it’s about constraining in some kind of way. Some of the more common bondage devices include rope, cuffs, leather restraints, saran wrap, tape, sleepsacks, and cages. A bondage scene can incorporate sex, sadomasochism, roleplay, or be an end in and of itself. 

Aesthetic bondage includes practices like Kinbaku, the Japanese art of rope bondage that is often referred to as Shibari by English speakers.

Kink bondage can use a rope to put bottoms through torture or into stressful predicaments, to immobilize, restrain, or position them according to the top’s (or rigger’s) wishes.

Somatosensory bondage is experienced with a mind toward changing perceptions of touch, pressure, pain, temperature, position, movement, and vibration.

More than just rope

You might be familiar with rope bondage—the aforementioned Japanese art of Kinbaku, or Shibari—but bondage can take many different forms. Leather and chains are often associated with bondage, but there are other tools and activities that do what they do: induce constraint and inhibit, limit, or control the senses. These include sensory deprivation tanks, ball-gags, masks, spreader bars, and vacuum sacks.

How do I learn about bondage?

BDSM is the conscious, risk-aware decision to engage in activities that can be dangerous. Like any other kind of BDSM, bondage of any kind can be life-threatening when done without safety precautions and proper training. Even when done properly and with the right protocol, bondage activities can cause permanent physical damage or death.

This is why educating yourself with books or by attending workshops put on by leather organizations like the Lesbian Sex Mafia is so important. Rigger and amateur gay historian Daemonumx recommends online tutorials from Shibari Study as a beginner’s guide to rope bondage and a great place to start exploring the world of bondage safely.

Bondage doesn’t have to stay in the bedroom

If you’re interested in exploring bondage a bit more, you don’t have to restrain (literally) it to bedroom activities. You can try out bondage both inside and outside of a sub-dom (or submissive-dominant) dynamic. One way to do so, which leans a bit into the “DS” part of BDSM, is to wear collars or chokers (which, of course, don’t constrain your windpipes), or an outfit that your partner chooses for you.  

How to explore bondage in new ways

As previously mentioned, bondage doesn’t have to look one specific way. And as with all kinds of sex, it’s about exploring what is most exciting to both you and your partner, while keeping up good communication throughout. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments, to stop if something feels uncomfortable, or to call it off and just cuddle instead. You don’t have to go from 0 to 100 immediately, either.

Get your furniture involved 

You might imagine bondage to involve complicated ropes and leather accessories (which, to be clear, it certainly can), but it can be as simple as restraining your partner to a bedframe or chair with a scarf or handcuffs. Just don’t lose the keys.

Make the most of suspension

Okay, not everyone can install a sex swing in their home. But if that option is available to you…you might as well make the most of it, no?

Take safety precautions

Sex is intimate and vulnerable in itself—and http://itgamer.ru/ that’s especially true for any form of intimacy that falls in the BDSM wheelhouse. Trying something new in the bedroom is not something you should take lightly; have a conversation with your partner before trying bondage and take the time to make sure you’re on the same page with your boundaries.

And while you’re at it, take the time to consider basic safety precautions. If you’re doing any tying-up, don’t tie too tight—you should have space for at least two fingers between the rope, harness, whatever, and the skin. If you’re using ropes, institutobolsa.com scarves, etc., keep a pair of scissors in reach just in case of emergencies. 

Safewords are an important practice in BDSM. Land on a word that you and your partner can use to know when to stop, or consider the traffic light system to let each other know if you’re reaching your limit; green is go, yellow means you’re almost at your limit, red means stop. There’s really no such thing as too much communication.

Go into it with an open mind

If you haven’t explored much in the realm of BDSM, bondage can be very intimidating! But it’s important to remember that bondage doesn’t have to look one specific way; as previously mentioned, it can be as simple as tying your partner’s hands to the headboard, maybe blindfolding them, and going to town. If you want to stick with something as straightforward as a simple hand restraint, nobody’s stopping you—and no one’s forcing you to try more complex or intense forms of bondage either. To each their own!

How to talk to your partner about bondage

When one partner has experience with bondage and the other doesn’t, it’s a good idea to have an open, judgment-free conversation about it. If you’re the one who’s done bondage before (or the one who has more of an interest in trying it), explain why you like it, what you’ve done, and what you want to do. It’s great if your partner is open-minded and willing to try something new, but if they’re not, you have to be willing to accept their boundaries , too. At the end of the day, respect is a big part of intimacy, and that goes both ways. 

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What is vanilla sex?

The definition of vanilla sex https://celebporngifs.com/ can be subjective, but broadly speaking, it’s anything that falls under the umbrella of “normative” sex. “Some people define it as just PIV [penis-in-vagina] intercourse, but most people would expand that to include oral sex as well,” says Gigi Engle, a sex and intimacy expert for 3Fun. “It’s your standard sex, essentially.”

Why “vanilla,” though? ” Etymologists have struggled with its origin, but despite the wrangling, most sex historians agree that the kink world circa 1970s gets the credit for using ‘vanilla’ to refer to conventional sex,” says Gloria Brame, PhD, a sex therapist, board-certified sexologist, and author of Different Loving Too: Real People, Real Lives, Real BDSM.

In the ’70s, flavors like vanilla were used because it was an easy way of explaining how everyone likes different things—not just in the bedroom, but in life. Using a food with many variations, digital.alinnco.edu.mx such as ice cream, was easier for people to understand. “By the 1980s,” adds Brame, “the term took hold throughout the rapidly-growing BDSM communities and finally reached mainstream usage.” (The more you know!)

These days, “vanilla” can also refer to what someone may or may not like in the bedroom. “[It’s] sex that isn’t kinky. So if you say you have vanilla sex, what you’re saying is ‘I’m not into kink,’ and there’s nothing wrong with that,” says Engle.

What are some misconceptions about vanilla sex?

Unfortunately, there’s a lot of unnecessary judgement surrounding the idea of vanilla sex, which can result in shame. “People will be embarrassed that they’re vanilla or they’ll say it as if it’s a bad thing,” says Engle. “But vanilla is a delicious flavor! It’s fine if that’s what you want to be.”

Below are some of the most common misconceptions, formazione.geqmedia.it debunked.

  • It’s boring. Can sex be boring? Absolutely, but the fact that it’s vanilla isn’t what makes it that way. “Any sex that you have repeatedly can become boring. As humans, we crave novelty… changing up the routine is helpful for that,” says Engle. In short, you don’t have to engage in wild, risky, or explosive sex to have a great sex life. You can do something as simple as trying out a new position, https://arhcollege.ru/ bringing in a toy, or even switching up where you have sex.
  • It’s less evolved. Some people feel like vanilla sex is barely scraping the surface of any kind of sex at all. This idea can also stem from the judgment of others, even if the person having vanilla sex is satisfied. “For some people, it is the end point. For others, [vanilla sex] is part of an evolutionary process,” says Melancon. But whether or not vanilla is one of your go-to flavors, “it’s no less evolved than anything else,” she adds.
  • It’s not for queer people. Because of stereotypes around queer sex and the misconception that vanilla sex is just PIV intercourse, many people assume that queer couples don’t engage in vanilla sex. But because vanilla sex is just non-kinky, it’s possible to be queer and prefer vanilla sex, says Engle. “A lot of queer people have basic, queer sex, and it might not even be inclusive of sex toys,” she explains.
  • It’s not pleasurable. Because a lot of people define vanilla sex as straightforward PIV intercourse, there’s a misconception that, within cis-heterosexual dynamics, vanilla sex is less pleasurable for women. But in fact, women are more likely to orgasm during sex when they receive oral, try new sex positions, and engage in deep kissing, according to a 2017 study from Archives of Sexual Behavior—all of which can be incorporated into vanilla sex (and often are).

Ultimately, people of all genders can enjoy and get off from vanilla sex. “Good sex is subjective,” Engle says. “It really depends on the people who are having it and the things they like to do.”

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How to use a vibrator with a partner.

A vibrator is an excellent way to liven things up when you’re flying solo, but it can also be a memorable guest star during partner sex https://creampiesgif.com/.

You might feel reluctant to bring up the idea with your partner for fear it might imply that they aren’t satisfying you in the bedroom. But if you frame it as trying something new and exciting that can enhance what you’re both doing, it can be a less intimidating prospect. If you’re using a vibrator with a partner for the first time, it can also be a good idea to use it on them first: Show them how it can enhance their pleasure, too, and make it a suggestion that will ultimately benefit everyone involved. 

It helps to frame suggestions positively: Telling your partner, “I like it when you…” gives them an idea of what they can be doing more of to enhance your pleasure. After all, intimacy involves both satisfying your own desires and making sure that your partner is satisfied, too. Communication goes a long way—so don’t be afraid to ask what they like and to share feedback of your own. Just like with anything that you may try for the first time, using a vibrator with a partner may require a little experimentation before you figure out what really works. Or, switching things up can help add a bit of excitement back into your sex life if you’ve gotten into too much of a routine. 

There’s no one way to use a vibrator forum.askmiddlewareexpert.com with a partner, but if you’re not sure how to get started, this guide can give you a few ideas. Ultimately, what feels best to you is a personal preference, but a bit of open-mindedness can help you learn more about what exactly makes you—and your partner—tick. Here’s how to use a vibrator with your partner.

The case for using a vibrator during sex:

Sure, the use case for a vibrator during a solo sesh is pretty clear—but when you’re with a partner, bringing in another tool may seem unnecessary, or even awkward. But there are some real benefits to trying it out. First off, it’s fun. Vibrators are designed to enhance pleasure , soloesunalien.com so whether you’re using one by yourself or with a partner, you’re going to amp up sensation. Remember: Vibrators don’t have to be a substitute for or a replacement for a partner (in case you want them to be, of course), but they can be a great compliment.

Science backs this up, too. There’s research that shows that for some people with vaginas, clitoral stimulation (which can be accomplished through the use of a vibrator) is necessary to achieve orgasm. According to a 2017 article published in the Journal of Sex and Marriage Therapy , only 18.4% of women studied could orgasm through penetrative sex alone—the rest either required clitoral stimulation or said that clitorial stimulation improved their orgasms. 

Of course, you don’t need to use a vibrator for clitoral stimulation—going acoustic, if you will, can certainly result in a climax. But a vibrator can do a lot of heavy lifting during sex, to the benefit of both you and your partner. And even if orgasm isn’t your end goal, a bit of vibration can still make the experience more pleasurable and fun.

Now, some tips on how to use a vibrator with your partner, whether it’s your first time trying it out or not. 

Find your sweet spot.

When you’re figuring out how to use a vibrator with your partner, don’t be afraid to try things out. Our erogenous zones respond differently to stimulation, so what might work for one person may not do anything for someone else. That’s where a vibrator can help. Explore one another’s body by applying vibration in light circles to different areas like the neck, nipples, inner thigh, behind the ear, back of the knee, the testicles, shaft, perineum—even the armpit, scalp, and hands. The end goal here doesn’t have to be orgasm; using a vibrator with a partner can be a great technique to add to your foreplay arsenal.

Alternate between your mouth and your vibrator.

Sex is all about sensations, which is why mixing things up every so often can make it even better for all parties. So, once you’ve identified the spot on your partner’s body that really gets them going, alternate between using the vibrator and the warmth of your mouth and tongue for an extra-sensory experience.

Use it to enhance oral sex.

Vibrators aren’t just great to use during penetrative sex—they can also enhance sensations during oral sex. If you’re going down on someone with a penis, press the vibrator against your cheek for some extra stimulation. During cunnilingus, you can insert the vibrator into the vagina to up your game even more. 

Give certain positions a boost.

Here’s how to use a vibrator in a way you might not expect: Use it to stimulate the clitoris in positions where it might be difficult to do so. Think: reverse cowgirl and spooning. 

Let your partner take over.

Giving up a little bit of control and letting your partner take over can bring an element of excitement to sex. One way you can do this is by having your partner lie on their back as you lie on top of them, with your back on top of their chest. As they hold a vibrator they can trail it across your body before bringing it to stimulate the clitoris. Then, ease in, and enjoy the ride.

Don’t skip the lube.

Lube isn’t just for penetration—while it’s formulated to reduce friction, it can also intensify the feelings of a vibrator . Think of it as making a good thing even better. Just make sure that you use the right kind of lube: Silicone lubes can cause silicone vibrators to degrade over time, so reach for a water-based lube instead. Start off with just a little bit, and don’t be afraid to reapply!

Bring it in the shower.

There are plenty of ways to make shower sex an even more enjoyable —even exciting—experience. One of which is bringing a vibrator to the mix. As long as your device is waterproof (many are), you can use it for a little extra stimulation as the steam rises.

Practice good hygiene and safety.

It should go without saying, but it bears repeating: Wash your vibrator between uses with warm water and soap to keep it clean of any bacteria. This is important all the time, but especially if you use it with one or multiple partners. You may also consider using a condom on a vibrator to further protect against STIs, but just make sure your condoms are safe to use with your vibrator: Just like with lube, you won’t want to pair a condom that contains silicone lubricant with a silicone vibrator, as it can get damaged over time. Vibrators made of non-porous, medical-grade silicone are top-tier when it comes to devices that are body-safe and easy to clean.

Keep it charged.

Here’s possibly the easiest way to prevent disappointment in bed: Make sure that your vibrator is fully charged so that whenever you want to use it, it’s ready. There are few let-downs quite like the device dying when you or your partner are so close to getting there. So, get into a habit of cleaning and charging your vibrator after every use—it’s best to play it safe.

Using a vibrator with a partner can ultimately take some experimentation to see what feels right for you, so be patient and remember that it’s supposed to be fun. There’s no singular way to use a vibrator with a partner, but rather a plenty of different strategies that can make it a great experience for https://inclusivemediatraining.eu/blog/index.php?entryid=28761 you both. So, if you’re curious, try suggesting it to your partner and seeing what feels good to both of you. And if you need a vibrator to get started, consider Maude’s Vibe and Drop . With its cone shape and vibration concentrated in its tip, the Vibe is great for targeted stimulation (around the clitoris, for example). With a rounder shape and more diffused vibration, the Drop is great for all-over body stimulation in different erogenous zones. 

Sex is extremely personal, and that means you have to take the time to learn your preferences. Don’t be afraid to try something new—you never know when you might hit a real sweet spot.

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Sex and arthritis.

How to not let chronic pain get in the way of getting intimate.

It’s an inevitability that unfolds in a Hemingway-like manner: Slowly, then all at once, those joints don’t move the way they used to. And for some—unfortunately—the pain that comes along with that change is worse than for others. According to the  CDC , nearly 30-percent of people between the ages of 45 to 64 in the U.S. are diagnosed with arthritis, and that percentage rises to just under 50-percent for those above the age of 65. But for an issue so common, there’s not a whole lot of discussion about how those aching, stiff joints affect intimacy.

There are several different types of arthritis.  Osteoarthritis , the most common form, is caused by a breakdown of cartilage between the bones and joints—this can happen from the wear and tear that comes along with aging.  Rheumatoid arthritis  is an auto-immune, inflammatory disease; basically, it causes the immune system to attack healthy cells, largely in the joints.  Sexually acquired reactive arthritis  is a type of arthritis that can develop from a sexually transmitted infection, like chlamydia (most commonly) or gonorrhea. 

What impact does arthritis have on sex?

From the emotional to the physical, there are several ways arthritis can impact your sex life https://videotwerk.com/, according to U.K.-based charity  Versus Arthritis . Living with chronic pain can, of course, affect your mental wellbeing, which means you’re less likely to be in the mood (fair!). And swollen or painful joints might make your usual positions less comfortable than usual. For those suffering from rheumatoid arthritis, the additional symptoms of fatigue, loss of appetite, and fever can also have an understandably negative effect. 

Admittedly, there’s not a ton of research on the direct link between intimacy and arthritis, but the studies that have been conducted show it’s not exactly good news. A  2007 study  showed that both men and women reported joint trouble during sexual activity, and  2003 research  found that sexual ability was negatively impacted by arthritis in 58-percent of study participants. It’s not just physical, either: necrc.org a  journal entry in 2014  showed that sexual drive is diminished by 50- to 60-percent in rheumatoid arthritis patients. When you’re not comfortable, it’s perfectly understandable to not want to get it on. 

Does it last forever? 

Not all arthritis does: For those suffering from reactive arthritis, which develops most often between the ages of 20 and 50 as a result of an infection like chlamydia or salmonella. It can be treated with antibiotics—most people, according to  Johns Hopkins University , typically recover. 

Both osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis are chronic. The former happens from general wear-and-tear of cartilage in the joints, while the latter is an autoimmune disease, which results in symmetrical pain (pain in both hands or both hips, as opposed to just one body part), as well as fatigue and other symptoms, according to the  University of Michigan . 

What can you do about it? 

There are various anti-inflammatory treatments for the different kinds of arthritis, which can decrease joint pain, but inevitably might come along with side effects: Vaginal dryness or the reduction of libido in women is one common one, according to  Arthritis.org . But for those with osteoarthritis,  AARP  notes that sexual activity can make for positive, low-impact exercise (which also results in a burst of endorphins that will make you feel good). 

Most importantly, don’t be afraid to bring up your sexual concerns or difficulties with your doctor when you’re talking about your arthritis—though they might not initiate the conversation, healthy sex life is a crucial part of your general wellbeing, and they can help you find the best antidotes, whether that’s a referral to a sex therapist or just a good lube that can make things go a bit smoother. 

Arthritis sex positions

The best sex positions for arthritis are those that put the least strain on your joints, according to research published by the  University of Washington . The best position for you may vary depending on which joints are inflamed, but generally, it should be a position that allows you to shift quickly if things start to get painful. Some ideas: Both partners standing, with the person in front holding onto a piece of furniture for support; both partners lying on their side with the person in front holding a pillow between their knees for hip support; missionary, with a pillow supporting the hips of the person on the bottom and the person on top supporting their weight with their hands and knees. 

Why sex can be beneficial for those with arthritis

Arthritis isn’t a reason to fully write off sex; as long as you’re going about it in a way that isn’t painful, it can be quite beneficial for people who struggle with arthritis. According to  AARP , gentle, range-of-motion exercises (like intercourse) can help to strengthen weakened joint tissue. Not to mention, the endorphins released during sex can help to lift your mood and make you feel more comfortable in your body—a very welcome feeling for anyone, not just those who struggle with chronic pain.

How to talk to your partner about arthritis 

Open communication is crucial; if you struggle with arthritis, have a conversation with your partner about what hurts, and what might be beneficial to your sex life. It can help to schedule or plan for sex at certain times of day when you’re experiencing less pain, https://e-learning.org.ua/ according to the  American College of Rheumatology . Staying under a blanket or having sex right after a hot shower can also help your joints stay warm and feel more flexible. 

Make sure you’re both willing to go slow and try different positions; it may take some time to figure out what works for you, so don’t get discouraged if your first attempt doesn’t necessarily go as well as you’d hoped. Ultimately, the willingness to experiment will help you have sex in a pleasurable way—and pain-free—for both you and your partner.

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A handy guide to shower sex.

Everything you need to know before getting it on whilst bathing. 

Like with app dates and probably Timothee Chalamet, shower sex https://orgasmsgif.com/ —while enormously sultry in theory—can often, umm, fall short.

Yeah, it’s hot. It’s steamy. You’re naked. Water is cascading. But alongside all the more illustrious parts of intercourse-avec-bathing, there are some minor inconveniences: It’s slippery, vaguely cramped, difficult to lather up (if cleaning your body was, at any point, the intention here), and it’s likely that you’ll find yourself with several unsolicited mouthfuls of lukewarm water. Unlike intimate moments in the bedroom (or even on the floor or sofa), sex in the shower comes with a lot more logistical questions than you might be prepared for. What sounds like an amazing idea can end up being disappointing—or, at worst, dangerous enough to merit a trip to urgent care. 

Nonetheless, there is a time and a place for shower sex. And when duty calls, you must answer. So in the hopes of making your next occasion for bathroom boning as pleasurable as possible, we’ve put together a guide for the slippery when wet moments, including the best shower sex positions that can make your slippery-when-wet moments even better. Shower sex can be safe, fun, and even exciting—and taking the right steps beforehand can help ensure that all parties have squeaky clean fun.

Clean up

This should go without saying, but just in case it doesn’t: If you’re going to have sex in the shower, for the love of whatever spiritual deity or cosmic force you look up to, make sure you clean it ahead of time. Nothing kills the mood like grout that hasn’t seen the surface of a sponge in weeks and errant hairs, even if they are arranged almost artistically on your tiles. And lamu.aaims.edu.pk perish the thought of a clogged drain that forces dirty water to fill your tub. You can even consider shower sex a motivating factor to inspire you to deep-clean that bathroom.

Beyond the scrubbing, a bit of decluttering helps, too. You want to have as much room as possible in your shower or bath, so place shampoos, soaps, and all other bathroom accouterments to the side. If you want to set the moment, prep your space with nice, fluffy towels, and maybe even some candles. Who says the bathroom can’t be intimate?

Be safe

Now, you might be asking, “Is it safe to have sex in the shower?” It certainly can be, but you do have to be careful. There’s less risk of slipping in a tiled shower—one perk for those who might not have a full tub—which makes them the best spot for shower sex. But tubs are fair game, too. One safety consideration: If your tub has a slippery bottom, consider purchasing a non-slip tub mat to reduce any risk of falling.

You’ll also want to be careful with what you grab onto; that shower rod may not be as secure as you think it is. Try shower sex positions that don’t require you to hold onto anything that can fall or break, lest you get hurt or cause some pricey damage.

Skip the soap

If you’re actually in the shower to, well, shower, we highly recommend waiting until after the sex to reach for the soap. For the sake of your safety, you don’t want to add more slippery agents to the mix here. Plus, vying for shared water flow whilst soaping up your armpits isn’t exactly the best way to kick off your romp. 

Bolster yourself

Unlike with bedside doggy style, you may need to do a little extra work to ground yourself and keep your balance. Make a point to hold onto some (firmly attached) fixture in the tub while you’re going at it, and if need be, consider a horizontal position. 

Try shower-friendly sex positions

Limited space, free-flowing water, and slippery ceramic tiles can make shower sex a far more complicated ordeal than expected. When standby positions like doggy and missionary aren’t on the table, you’ll have to consider some more creative ways to have sex in the shower. The good news is: You have several options that are both fun and can be safe when done correctly. Here are some of the best sex positions in the shower to try.

One leg wrapped

One partner keeps their back against the shower wall, while the other faces them. The partner closer to the wall wraps their arms and one leg around the other person to stabilize themselves, while the one facing them places their hands on the wall behind them. 


You likely won’t have enough space in your tub for cowgirl, but a slightly constricted version works perfectly well. One partner sits on the floor of the tub or shower with their legs bent, while the other partner rides them. 

In reverse

Prefer some backwards action? The above position works just as well with the partner on top facing backwards. Which way the two of you face will depend on how (literally) wet you want to get. If you’re not into having a spray of water directly in your face, have the bottom partner sit against the wall with the shower faucet

From behind

Not sure how to have sex in the shower? This one’s fairly simple. With both partners facing away from the spray of the shower, one stands closer to the wall and plants their hands firmly against it, arching their back while the other stands behind them, holding their hips.

The Notebook

If you’re feeling daring, one partner can also lift the other one off the floor completely—that partner should firmly wrap their legs around the other and hold on tight. You don’t even have to have sex in this position—making out (a la The Notebook ) can be just as satisfying. 

Keep that water warm

Few things are bigger boner killers (speaking in the gender neutral sense) than the cold. And shower heads can only go so far. So do your best to keep that water hot enough to steam up the whole space—leaving whoever isn’t in the shower’s central line of attack toasty and warm. 

Don’t rule out oral

Penetrative sex isn’t the only way to have fun in the shower. Take turns giving kneeling oral, while one of you keeps your back to the water. This way, you’ll each get your moment to enjoy the shower pressure, and to pleasure your partner uninhibited by mouthfuls of hot water.

Get messy

By nature, the shower keeps things pretty…clean. So feel free to use your shower sex as an opportunity to indulge some of your messier modes of fornication. Use the shower for bloody period sex, lube-heavy anal, or maybe, as a smart way to compensate for all the sweat if, say, you’re boning in 90-degree-heat sans A/C.

Bring in some toys

Using a vibrator with a partner is a great way to mix things up, and water-resistant toys are totally fair game in the shower, too. You can use a vibrator during foreplay, or get it involved throughout your shower session. 

Experiment a little

The first time you have shower sex with your partner (or anytime you have shower sex, centrofreire.com for that matter) may not go according to plan. Instead, a bit of trial and error may be necessary for you both to figure out what works, not only in your space, but with your preferences. Take safety precautions, but don’t take shower sex too seriously—it’s meant to be fun.

You need not finish

The thing about shower sex is: it’s hot either way. You don’t need to carry it out to completion for it to have been a worthwhile endeavor for the both of you. If it’s slippery, you’re cramping, and you’re feeling a bit water-logged, enjoy the foreplay, then towel off (or don’t) and finish elsewhere. 

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The tragic life of history’s most notorious femme fatale.

Was the world’s most famous courtesan a devious seductress or unwilling scapegoat? 

Mata Hari didn’t set out to become an archetype. Her name has almost become a generic term for the femme fatale archetype, the idea of a woman using her sexuality https://videotwerk.com/ for weaponized purposes, seducing the powerful into spilling their secrets. There’s something eternally compelling about the idea of the world’s most military leaders being rendered defenseless in the face of the overwhelming temptation.

But she was a real person. Mata Hari was born the slightly less exotically-named Margaretha Geertruida Zelle in the Netherlands in 1876. She grew up in an initially wealthy family thanks to her milliner father’s shrewd investments and went to expensive schools. This all ended abruptly when Margaretha—known as “M’greet” to her family—was 13. Within less than two years, her father declared bankruptcy, her parents got divorced and her mother died. She was sent to live with her godfather to train as a kindergarten teacher, then withdrawn from the training program when the headmaster began behaving inappropriately towards her. She ended up living with an uncle.

The next chapter in Zelle’s nice was no less tumultuous. Eager for some security, she answered a classified ad placed by an officer in the Dutch Army seeking a wife, and found herself at 18  living in the Dutch East Indies (modern-day Indonesia) with her new husband Rudolf McLeod, theoretically sorted out. However, McLeod was abusive and openly adulterous. They had two children, one of who died at just two years old. Margaretha flung herself into dancing and learning about the local culture, adopting the name Mata Hari (“eye of the day” in the local Malay language) for her creative output.

The couple moved back to the Netherlands and divorced. While Margaretha was awarded custody of their surviving daughter, Jeanne, Rudolf decided not to send her back after a visit, and Margaretha didn’t feel like she was in a position to fight to get her back. She left the Netherlands for Paris in 1903, aged 27, performing in a circus and working as an artist’s model before transitioning into exotic dancing.

This was where Mata Hari as history knows her was born. Combining modern dance with techniques and houghie.com costumes she had picked up in the Far East, https://lamu.aaims.edu.pk/blog/index.php?entryid=25989 she quickly became famous and successful, managed by the same booking agent as Richard Strauss and other opera greats. She presented herself as Indian, well-traveled, and well-versed in various ancient erotic dances, something nobody at the time thought to question. 

She frequently appeared nude other than a breastplate—she was self-conscious about having small breasts—and began a long-running affair with a millionaire industrialist, Émile Étienne Guimet. She began traveling to perform in other European cities, with one Viennese journalist writing that she was “so feline, extremely feminine, majestically tragic, the thousand curves and movements of her body trembling in a thousand rhythms”, the 1900s Austrian equivalent of being horny on main.

However, after a few years, soloesunalien.com her career began to quieten down—younger dancers she had influenced were in more demand—and in the 1910s she was increasingly occupied as a courtesan rather than a performer, arranging liaisons with rich and powerful men all across Europe. She had maintained Dutch citizenship all this time, which allowed for free movement. By the beginning of the First World War, her extravagant lifestyle was less impressive to the average French citizen than once it was, as National Geographic notes: She seemed not to grasp that ordinary people resented her ostentatious lifestyle while French families were doing without basics: coal, clothing, and foodstuffs. They were sending their fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons to be killed in the war while she continued to live in comfort and plenty.” 

She was approached by a German officer and invited to spy for Germany. She declined the offer, but took the money. Around this time she fell in love with Captain Vadim Maslov, a Russian pilot nearly two decades her junior flying with the French Army. When he was wounded, she was not permitted to go to the front to see him. She was then approached by the Deuxieme Bureau—the French equivalent of the CIA—and  told she could see Maslov if she became a spy for the French, using her connections with powerful influential men to uncover valuable secrets.

This is where things get a little cloudy. The main figure she was told to target, the Crown Prince, was privy to almost nothing of any consequence. In trying to get to him, she offered to sell secrets she knew about the French to a German attache—either a genuine betrayal or an attempt to build trust to get nearer the Prince. Either way, the Germans mentioned it in communications that were intercepted by the French, in which they barely attempted to hide who she was, describing her in a way that made it glaringly obvious who was being discussed. There is a strong chance they knew that this particular line of communications was being monitored, and did it deliberately to expose Mata Hari as a double agent.

Whether she was legitimately discovered, or deliberately hung out to dry, Mata Hari ended up as a scapegoat for a huge amount of failures she had nothing to do with. She was blamed for the deaths of 50,000 soldiers, something for which no evidence was provided and no credible case could be made. However, she made for a perfect scapegoat, every detail of her life being used as ‘proof’ of her perceived lack of morals. Even Maslov testified against her, saying he didn’t care if she was found guilty. She was executed by firing squad in October 1917, aged 41.

The vast likelihood is that, rather than the conniving seductress and femme fatale that she has become known as, Mata Hari was simply doing her best with the cards life dealt her. She was essentially abandoned or mistreated by everyone she had ever been close to, and ended up paying the ultimate price, a victim of savagely inconsistent morality. As she told her captors before she died, “A courtesan, I admit it. A spy, never! I have always lived for love and pleasure.”

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Hollywood’s rules on sex.

How does the movie industry regulate the sexy stuff?

The early days

As soon as movies were invented, people got to work making them sexy. The first commercial screening of a film was in 1895, and by 1896 there was at least one erotic film, France’s ​​seven-minute striptease short Le Coucher de la Mariée . Thomas Edison produced a few films on the sexy side in the final few years of the nineteenth century, including an eighteen-second silent film that had the first kiss ever shown, and a partially-censored belly-dancing clip called Fatima’s Hoochie-Coochie Dance .

In the early years of the twentieth century, film technology moved incredibly quickly, and various groups around the world began making everything from lightly risque comedies—kissing in public was incredibly scandalous at the time, so a bit of smooching on-screen was pretty out-there—to full-on porn. As filmmaking became more and more widespread and cinema swiftly became integrated into everyday life for millions of people, there was an immediate sense of moral panic at what society might be exposed to. Films like the 1910s The Abyss were censored for their overt eroticism, and there was a mixture of excitement and trepidation at what this new medium could expose people to.

“Don’ts and Be Carefuls”

In the 1910s, filmmakers headed West to Hollywood and everything went stratospheric. With all of this came calls for regulation—a 1915 Supreme Court case made it clear that free speech laws didn’t extend to film, while individual states had very different views on what was and wasn’t acceptable. A lot of films originated as stage plays in New York, which had more liberal standards than a lot of more conservative areas. A system where every state had different rules wasn’t going to be sustainable for Hollywood, so the decision was made by studio heads to create a voluntary code of conduct that would mean the films they made could be shown nationwide.

The adorably-titled list “Don’ts and Be Carefuls” was published in 1926, explicitly forbidding depictions of various things onscreen. These included “Any licentious or suggestive nudity—in fact or silhouette; and any lecherous or licentious notice thereof by other characters in the picture,” as well as “any inference of sex https://orgasmsgif.com/ perversion” and went into specific details forbidding showing men and forum.askmiddlewareexpert.com women in bed together or “a woman selling her virtue”. Kissing was permitted as long as it wasn’t deemed “excessive or lustful”. 

The Hays Code

In 1930, the Motion Picture Production Code, also known as the Hays code, was drawn up. Anything deemed to be “sexual perversion” was forbidden, and any suggestion of a sexual relationship outside of traditional marriage couldn’t be portrayed as attractive or appealing in any way. 

Initially, a lot of studios ignored it—the hedonistic Roaring Twenties were barely over, https://arhcollege.ru/blog/index.php?entryid=2823 and censorship wasn’t in line with that at all. Plus the Great Depression was coming in, and nothing filled a cinema-like a bit of boundary-pushing. 1933’s Ecstasy showed the first on-screen portrayal of the female orgasm, admittedly in a face-only shot. By 1935, though, adhering to the Hays Code was obligatory for a film to be distributed. Casablanca would have been less vague about Rick and Ilsa’s prior sexual relationship, and given them a happier ending, if not for the Code. 

The decline of the Code

By the 1950s, however, theater chains were no longer studio-owned, meaning they could show sexy imports from Europe, and some domestic films made outside of the Hays Code, like Some Like It Hot , became enormous hits. Convoluted ways of getting around the rules led to endless “documentaries” about nudism and cheaply-made “sexploitation” movies.

It was clear that the Code wasn’t in line with what filmmakers wanted to make and filmgoers wanted to see. 1963’s Promises, Promises! featured a topless Jayne Mansfield and was banned in some cities, but the following year The Pawnbroker was approved for full distribution despite including topless scenes. In 1966 Blowup , made outside the Code and featuring full-frontal female nudity, was distributed by MGM in clear defiance of the rules—people wanted sex and nudity in films, both as escapism and as a reflection of real life, and the system simply wasn’t fit for purpose.

The MPAA rating system

The replacement was the MPAA rating system, created in 1968, a modified version of which is still in place today. It originally rated films as G (general), M (mature, essentially an advisory label for parents), R (restricted, insisting upon adult accompaniment for anyone under 16), and X (forbidding admission to the under-16s). X was originally something of a confusing one, used as much for horror as sex, before specific X-rated cinemas opened, the label was used exclusively for pornography.

The MPAA does not publicize the thinking behind individual decisions, but nudity in a non-sexual or dramatic context is generally treated more leniently than in a purely titillating one. The system has been criticized for treating male and female nudity differently, with penises more likely to lead to a more restrictive rating. It has also been accused of treating on-screen portrayals of cunnilingus as more “adult” than fellatio, rating same-sex depictions more strictly and in general placing more of an emphasis on stopping younger audiences from seeing sex than violence.


The rating system gradually evolved into its modern incarnation of G, PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17. Studios would work hard to avoid having their films rated NC-17, as some theater chains would refuse to show them and some media companies would refuse to carry ads. 

Film festivals, arthouse cinemas, an increased interest in independent filmmaking, and the advent of streaming have meant an NC-17 rating is less of a death knell than it used to be. Films with extensive or un-simulated sex scenes can find audiences through mainstream distribution is deemed to be of artistic value. The rise of prestige TV has narrowed the gap between what can be done in film and television, with cable and streaming networks less beholden to the perceived concerns of advertisers. In the last few years, the Time’s Up movement and increased use of intimacy coordinators hopefully means that these projects can be made without mistreating or exploiting the performers involved. 

It turns out audiences are no less hungry for stories involving sex and sexuality than they were in those early days. Technology might have moved on, but people are the same as ever.

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What is a deepfake?

A deepfake is typically a medium in which the face or body of a person is digitally altered to make them look like someone else. In deepfaked audio, the voice of a specific person is synthesised, to produce an audio clip that appears to show them saying something they never actually said. All this stuff is powered by machine learning and artificial intelligence.

A 2019 study by Deeptrack Labs found 96 per cent of deepfake videos were pornographic https://fingeringif.com/. However, since then, there has been an explosion of less obviously objectionable deepfake content shared on social media, as the tools used to create them are that much more readily available.

For instance, https://moral.senate.go.th/ you may have stumbled upon Miles Fisher online. He posts deepfake videos of Tom Cruise doing silly things on TikTok. In these videos, you’ll hear Fisher’s own voice and see his real body, but the face pasted upon his is Cruise’s. It helps that he doesn’t look or sound a million miles removed from a younger Tom Cruise.

Why are deepfakes dangerous?

Deepfake tech is most dangerous when it is used to create pornographic content without people’s consent, or when it is used as a tool to spread misinformation or disinformation.

Even the most ostensibly harmless deepfake content presses some of the same buttons as the malicious stuff, nudging your brain to believe it’s real even if it is flagged as deepfake.

A deepfake video might show a political candidate saying something incendiary ahead of an election, in an attempt to hurt their chances of winning. It could be a public figure speaking out against a vaccine, despite never having done so.

In 2019, a video of a deepfake Boris Johnson endorsing Jeremy Corbyn circulated online. It was made by Future Advocacy, an artificial-intelligence think tank, in an effort to pressure MPs to address the spread of deepfakes online.

Tools have been developed, and www.camedu.org are being developed, to attempt to keep up with the increase in quality of these deepfakes. However, thanks to the virality of some of this content, the damage may have been done by the time videos or audio clips are revealed as fakes.

What is deepfake porn?

In deepfake porn, the face of a celebrity or public figure is transplanted into a sex scene, effectively turning any piece of porn into the kind of “sex-tape” content that used to attract so much attention years ago.

Actresses Margot Robbie and Scarlett Johansson are among those who have been victims of deepfake pornography.

In 2010, Johansson spoke out about how useless it is trying to fight back against those who create deepfakes.

“I think it’s a useless pursuit, legally, mostly because the internet is a vast wormhole of darkness that eats itself. It’s a fruitless pursuit for me but a different situation than someone who loses a job over their image being used like that.”

She said: “The internet is just another place where sex sells and vulnerable people are preyed upon. And any low-level hacker can steal a password and steal an identity. It’s just a matter of time before any one person is targeted.”

Are deepfakes illegal?

Deepfakes in general are not illegal. They are part of a spectrum that runs from face-swap apps on your phone to a pornographic video of Boris Johnson proclaiming support for Russia, and banning “deepfakes” outright is unfeasible.

However, in November 2022, the UK Government announced plans to make pornographic deepfakes shared online illegal.

“Explicit images or videos which have been manipulated to look like someone without their consent,” will be criminalised in a planned amendment to the Online Safety Bill.

Other malicious uses of deepfake technology could be covered by existing laws surrounding fraud and defamation/libel. However, there is no blanket protection should someone create a deepfake of your likeness.

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The history of the vibrator.

A timeline of truths & myths, from Cleopatra to hysteria.

It’s true that vibrators are popular items among adults, but where exactly did they come from? Historically, they’ve been known to exist for thousands of years. Stories say that Cleopatra (69-30 BC) filled a gourd full of bees to stimulate her genitals, which even today remains a legendary story of the earliest attempted DIY vibrator. While there are no archaeological remains or concrete evidence to confirm Cleopatra’s supposed invention, it’s fun to think about these early trials—and even more so, to feel thankful for how far vibrators have come. 

Another popular legend and narrative of the Victorian era is that doctors invented the vibrator as a treatment for hysteria. “Manual stimulation was thought to help a wandering womb find its way back, and as the popularity of the treatment grew, so did the doctors’ carpal tunnel. Thus, the vibrator was born. But as juicy as this bit of historical gossip seems recent research has debunked it,” says Kait Scalisi, certified sex educator. 

While Cleopatra’s bees and Victorian-era hysteria tales remain unconfirmed, vibrators and devices certainly have been in existence throughout history and date back to the Paleolithic era. Vibrators as we know them today came around in the 19 th century. While they were used in medical offices, they were marketed towards all genders and for a huge variety of issues, institutobolsa.com ranging from impotence to asthma. Two of the biggest changes have been the power source—moving from water and hand cranks to C and D batteries, to USB rechargeable —and the shape, from strictly phallic to much variety. 

“One thing that’s stayed the same is how society vilifies pleasure. Part of what makes the Victorian doctor myth so fun is this idea of people with vulvas taking their pleasure into their hands in a society-sanctioned way. It arouses images of drawing rooms full of ladies whispering and giggling as they pass secrets, and the doctors who don’t know they’re being used for pleasure. We’ve come a long way but there are still so many BS societal myths about devices and tools—that they replace a partner for example, ” says  Scalisi . 

Today, the technology and materials used have moved the industry forward in such a big way. “The vagina and anus are among the most delicate and absorbent tissues in the body. Anything that goes in or around them get passed to the rest of the body,” says Scalisi. 

Choosing products that are made of body-safe materials like silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel, glass, and wood decreases your risk of infection and irritation.

From home-made versions created 100s of years ago, to the new and improved choices we have today, vibrators have always been designed with a common goal in mind—pleasure. 

“Then and now, vibrators help to stimulate the most sensitive and pleasure-giving parts of the genitals: the clitoris, g-spot, and prostate. And the science backs this up. Studies show that cis women who use vibrators are about three times as likely to experience orgasm as those who don’t. Plus, people who use vibrators report higher levels of overall sexual satisfaction https://tittydropvideos.com/,” says Scalisi.


69-30 BC: Cleopatra first tried to create her version of a DIY vibrator by filling an empty gourd with hundreds of bees. 

Victorian Era: Many associations have been made between vibrators and the diagnosis of hysteria with Victorian Era doctors. The condition was used to describe a multitude of ailments, including aggression, fainting and mental illness. It’s said that women were treated with massage, and later with vibrators for various conditions.

1800s—In the 1800s, industrialization transformed many aspects of life including medicine. Later on, the first electric vibrator was invented by Joseph Mortimer Granville in 1883. Before this, the only similar machine that was on the market was Dr. George Taylor’s steam-powered “manipulator table massager.” 

1900s—Doctors and medical professionals tried to treat diseases with vibrators but found this unsuccessful. In 1915, the American Medical Association took a stand and olimpia.pe called the vibrator industry “a delusion.” Vibrator makers began to change their approach to advertising and started marketing them as “home appliances” for men and women of all ages. They ran large-scale ads in magazines and claimed that vibrators could cure everything from wrinkles to malaria. 

They started selling world-wide in department stores and popular mail-order catalogs such as Good Housekeeping. At the time, masturbation was viewed as shameful or obscene, so this meant that vibrators were not advertised to be associated with sex. Instead, manufacturers, low-key emphasized euphemistic language and imagery to sexualize the usage options of their products.

1920s—1950s: Alfred Kinsey first published his groundbreaking research on female sexuality in 1954. This included results stating that 62% of women surveyed had masturbated, although vibrators weren’t mentioned in his writeup. 

1956—The Sears department store produced its own vibrator, which was advertised to give you that great-to-be-alive feeling.” 

1970—In 1974, an article in Ms. Magazine by sex educator Betty Dodson proposed that women masturbate as a way of regaining their own sexual self-knowledge long denied by society. She also wrote articles extolling the virtue of vibrators. 

1980s—In the 1980s, masturbation finally went mainstream. The infamous Rabbit vibrator was created in 1983 by the company Vibratex. The company was the first to bring internal and external components to the US. They were brightly colored and made in animal shapes, in order to get around obscenity laws in Japan. The Beaver, the Kangaroo, and the Turtle were other models that all had internal, penis-like components along with different ticklers for external stimulation. 

1998—The Rabbit vibrator rose to fame, thanks in part to a guest appearance on “Sex and the City” where Charlotte becomes addicted to a Rabbit vibrator. 

2019—Today, vibrators are sold in a multitude of stores and are easy to purchase through specialty shops online. Even daytime shows such as Oprah have become open to discuss vibrators and their purposes. Thankfully, major shifts—such as more open conversation and making these devices more accessible—have occurred since the beginning of vibrators.

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The bizarre reason why genitals are pixelated in Japanese porn

Japanese porn, the one search that probably scarred 13-year-old you for life, is home to some pretty unique fetishes. From mixing up the genres of extreme BDSM and role play, to introducing the world to an otherwise unheard of category (ie tentacles) Japanese porn has ventured where very few have dared to go. But if you’ve ever watched a video produced by the country’s AV industry – and of course you have – you’d know that once the actors start getting down and dirty… well, let’s just say that the juiciest bits are pixelated.

Genitalia in Japanese porn https://cumshotsgif.com/ is seen only in 8-bit. While it may seem to some that blurring out an actor’s baby making bits defeats the purpose of pornography, it would be advisable to consider the existence of cultural differences which have further manifested at laws.

Japanese porn and the legal system

According to Article 175 of the Japanese Penal Code, it is illegal to share “indecent materials.” Though this may sound familiar to the rules closer to home, Japanese artistes of the adult variety have found a way to circumvent this: They simply blur out the genitalia. As amusing as it may sound to someone on the outside, aropriately placed digital mosaics are a big deal in Japan. Or at least, they have become so over the last few years.

In 2004, for the first time in 20 years, Article 175 was used against Suwa Yuuji, https://olimpia.pe/blog/index.php?entryid=510 creator of the manga Missitsu or Honey Room. Yuuji was convicted for distributing “indecent and explicit” material through his artwork. He was originally fined ?500,000 or INR2,87,829 and avoided imprisonment after pleading guilty to the charges levied against him. But the artist wasn’t quite done with the legal system. He took his case to the highest court in Japan, arguing that Missitsu was not nearly as graphic in its depiction as a lot of other material that was freely accessible on the internet. However, edeyselldigitals.com the Supreme Court of Japan was not buying his argument and held that Yuuji was in the wrong and tripled his fine to ? 1.5 million or INR 8,63,420.

Though no major arrests have been made post Yuuji’s case, artists, publishers and others who produce and distribute pornographic material have adopted a sort of self-censorship in order to avoid trouble with the law.

Japanese culture and porn

While it is largely true that a nation’s laws reflect its morality, one must understand that morality itself is subject to change. In spite of Japan’s present policy of pixelated porn, the country was far more progressive in its attitude towards sex before it was touched by Western influence in the 19th century.

With the arrival of Westerners on the island nation, which had remained closed off from the rest of the world until then, moral.senate.go.th everything changed. As Western morality took root in the upper echelons of Japanese society, the government began to outlaw traditional Japanese practices that were perfectly normal to the people but appeared uncultured or strange to foreigners; all this, in order to prove to an increasingly curious Western gaze that Japan was just as civilised a society as them.

One of the practices that faced the wrath of the law was shunga, or traditional Japanese erotica. Though once considered to be as just another genre of art, shunga was first officially banned by the Shogunate, or the military dictatorship of Japan, in 1722. But crackdowns on the art form and those who produced and procured it did not begin until the country first begrudgingly allowed the visit of Western powers.

Sold either as single scrolls or more popularly in the form of enpon, or a book, shunga was produced by artists in the block print format of traditional Chinese medicine scrolls. It depicted largely heterosexual, ethnic Japanese couples with enlarged genitals engaging in intercourse. However, a few paintings have been found depicting Dutch or Portuguese characters and sometimes (as seen in Hokusai’s now iconic The Dream of the Fisheman’s Wife) non-human creatures as well.

Though shunga has been outlawed for almost 300 years now, it has left an unparalleled legacy. A single look at any of the raciest manga comics today will reveal the influence shunga has had on the art of the island nation. In fact, Japan’s most popular export, tentacle porn, is thought to have originated in Hokusai’s classic depiction of a woman’s octopus fetish.

But why aren’t breasts pixelated in Japanese porn?

If laws and cultural practices to curb obscenity are so strong then somebody would object to nipples in porn too, right? Well… Not exactly. While we’re sure #FreeTheNipple hasn’t exactly taken over Japanese porn as a movement yet, the country itself has had an interesting relationship with breasts. The answer to why they aren’t treated as forbidden a fruit as a woman’s love box might be found in observing the roots of Japanese porn.

As observed in shunga, not much difference is visible between the chests of both men and women who appear in the paintings, with the only marker between them being either their dress or their genitalia. Unlike present beauty standards which value big breasts, preserved shunga prints show that the Japanese never really eroticised boobs and, although this was dependent on class, it was not uncommon for Japanese women to be topless.

Shunga almost always depicts people as being clothed, with only their naughty bits visible through robes partially pulled aside. The clothes served as markers of gender and social status, and perhaps act as a testament to the lack of surprise over nudity in 17th or 18th century Japan, where it was not uncommon to see the opposite sex in the nude at communal baths.

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